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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655391">Honey I'm Good</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/pseuds/BlurglesmurfKlaine'>BlurglesmurfKlaine</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>An Honest Man [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:54:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23655391</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurglesmurfKlaine/pseuds/BlurglesmurfKlaine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Kurt doesn’t like to play stupid games with Rachel.</i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <i>But he loves to put her in her place.</i></p><p> </p><p>Some competitive HummelBerry friendship, set right before the events of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20083996/chapters/47568247">An Honest Man</a>. Prequel one shot.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Rachel Berry &amp; Kurt Hummel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>An Honest Man [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1703182</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Honey I'm Good</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: couldn't sleep the other night so I wrote this instead, hope yall enjoy and tbh if theres anything else you wanna see from this verse let me know! I'll probably end up writing it lmaooooo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rachel thinks she’s <em> such </em> hot shit.</p><p>Honestly, you get a couple of dim witted assholes to “fall in love” with you and all of a sudden you’ve deluded yourself into thinking you’re the cat’s meow. </p><p>It’s not like it’s hard. </p><p>Kurt knows that all she had to do was bat her eyelashes, regurgitate some sports statistics (that he looked up for her because <em> god forbid </em> she do any work of her own), and their mark would look at her like she was this angel created just for them. And she’s only the lead on their cons because of convenience; if Kurt had the right plumbing, he would be conning these straight idiots in fucking circles.</p><p>It’s like she’s forgotten how events transpired some nine odd years ago. That first con, at the gas station after weeks of being on their own. </p><p>They’d run completely out of money, working odd jobs to get them halfway across the country, because Rachel was <em> convinced </em> that LA was where they needed to be. Kurt had an inkling, though, that she just wanted to be as far away from Jesse as possible. He went along with it; it’s not like there was anything left for him back home anyways.</p><p>“Rachel, we are not going to make it past the Oklahoma state line, we need to stop for gas,” he’d said.</p><p>“With what money!?” she’d shrieked, slamming a palm against the steering wheel in frustration. Oh god, she was starting to panic, and when she panicked, Kurt panicked, and it was way too easy to work himself up into everything that could go wrong. He needed a damn solution, if only to retain his own sanity.</p><p>“Just pull up to the next gas station,” he said steadily, his voice coming out much calmer than he felt. “I have a plan.”</p><p>Rachel had freaked out initially (which is just fucking rich, now that she’s a self proclaimed con queen), but once Kurt painted it as an acting exercise, she was all for it.</p><p>So they waited for some poor unsuspecting sucker to roll up in his car on the other side of their pump. Just as he slid his card into the reader, Rachel shoved a map in his face—just as Kurt had planned—effectively distracting him with questions of directions and “Which exit was that again? God, I’m such an absolutely hopeless case when it comes to directions, I hope I’m not being too much of a bother.”</p><p>While she did this, Kurt snuck around and pulled the man’s card out of the slot. He froze for a moment, wondering if his life was really coming to this. If he was ready to technically commit a crime, no matter how little it be. If he was willing to take his life in that direction.</p><p>He realized the other direction was Lima, and swiped the card through the slot.</p><p>If Kurt hadn’t been the one to come up with that plan, they would have never graduated to the long cons that have supported them for all these years. </p><p>And still, she thinks she’s such <em> hot fucking shit, </em> it drives him <em> insane </em> sometimes. That’s part of why he’s splitting after this last con. He’s said it before, but he really, really means it this time.</p><p>“I’m just saying, Kurt,” she says, taking a swig from her Smirnoff bottle, the ambient noise of chatter from the dive bar nearly drowning her out. “I think we have the best shot with this Rhyerson guy. He’s older, past his prime, and I feel like a lot of people would believe he’d cheat on me with you. We’ve got a shot.”</p><p>“He’s also a community college theatre professor,” Kurt scoffs. “We’d get more money out of a faulty pinball machine. Finn Hudson should be our next mark.” She looks at him warily. “I know you’re worried about drawing attention to ourselves, but his chain isn’t that big. It’s big enough that he definitely brings in some revenue, but not so big that we’ll be on any authorities’ radars. I do think these things through, you know.”</p><p>“Oh, like you thought through returning that Dakota Stanley guy’s family heirloom?”</p><p>“The next time you bring that up, I’m going to throw away all your hair rollers,” he mutters.</p><p>“How about this,” she starts, uncrossing her legs and leaning forward. The lighting is dim, but he can still see that spark of challenge in her eyes. “First one of us to get some guy to buy them a drink chooses the mark.”</p><p>Kurt doesn’t like to play stupid games with Rachel.</p><p>But he <em> loves </em> to put her in her place.</p><p>“Which guy?” he finally asks.</p><p>“I named the game, you choose the playing field. I feel like I do have an advantage,” she says, rolling her shoulders back and tossing her hair to one side. It’s all the strength he has not to roll his eyes.</p><p>He spots an unassuming man at the bar. Doesn’t matter who their mini-mark is, he’s going to win. He tosses his head in that direction, and Rachel’s Cheshire Cat grin spreads wider in her face. </p><p>“Easy,” she says, and struts up to the bar. </p><p>Kurt watches as she comes on strong, flashing him what she probably thinks is a sexy smile. “Hey,” she says to the man. “I’m Rene.”</p><p>The man looks her up and down, clearly interested. “Cody.”</p><p>Now, it’s Kurt’s turn to make a move. He walks up to the bar, taking the seat on the other side of Cody. As soon as he settles in, he makes it a point to drop his phone so that it lands underneath Cody’s chair. “Oh, my god,” he fake groans. “I’m such a klutz, I’m so sorry.” Kurt moves to pick it up, intentionally moving a fraction of a second slower to allow time for—</p><p>“Aw, no worries. I got you,” the man says, reaching down to pick it up and turning away from an annoyed Rachel in the process. </p><p>“Thanks,” Kurt says, smiling with faux sheepishness. “Not a lot of guys would have done that for me.” </p><p>The stranger smiles back with a flirty glint in his eye. “I’m not like most guys.” The line almost makes Kurt’s eye twitch, but he keeps his composure for the sake of what's at stake.</p><p>“I can see that,” he says, voice lowering and letting his eyes roam over Cody.</p><p>Rachel’s arm is suddenly in front of them, reaching into the communal bowl of peanuts (god she <em> better </em> wash her hands good if she’s thinking about riding back to the motel with him). “Hey Cody, can I grab your nuts?”</p><p>“Wh-what?” Cody sputters out, flustered and… fuck it, Kurt is done holding back his eye rolls. Rachel Berry is a lot of things, but apparently, subtle is not one of them.</p><p>He clears his mind, regains his composure, and brings a fist up to cover his mouth, deliberately coughing. It’s gentle at first, but then he works it up into a full blown sputtering fit, fluttering his hands in front of his face in a distressed manner and making his expression look as pathetically helpless as possible.</p><p>Cody turns to him, concerned. “Jesus, are you okay? Can I get you a water?”</p><p>Kurt immediately breaks his chain of coughs and gives Rachel the most shit-eating-grin ever as he gets up out of his chair. “We’re doing Hudson.”</p><p>“Shit!” Rachel slams her hand against the bar, vacating her seat before leaving behind a very confused Cody.</p><p>They leave the bar and she huffs as she slides into the passenger side of Kurt’s car. “I have to hand it to you,” she says, narrowing her eyes at him. “That was pretty good.”</p><p>He shrugs, shifting the car into drive and admittedly a little satisfied with himself. “I know.”</p>
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